Flow has always been my natural state
There is grace in holding form. Without form there is no room for flow. Coach Kelly used to tell me that you become better by fighting through the tired. That pull aside changed my life forever. So much years later I wrote it on my wall. You really know how to breathe when you recognize what it feels like to not be able to. You learn how to breathe in uncomfortable situations, You learn how to maintain form to gaurantee the flow. That you will be in it even if there is resistance. What is resistance to you when you have the form down to a second nature. You become unstoppable even if it hurts. You’ve broken through a barrier so you glide past what you would’ve called tired. Now you’re flowing. Now you’re going somewhere. The flow has broken you in. And now you can swim.
My whole life has consisted of being underwater. In water. One with it- Studying it. I qualified for the Junior Olympics and I remember my father told me that that was something I couldnt do. Why ? Because he said so — and he never said those words however he did say “no.” He’s always been more of the silent type. When I got taken out the water- that’s when my breathing started to get harder. I was 13. Going to the pool when all my teammates would be in the other pool to practice made me feel like I was a joke. At the time I didn’t know the water was trying to teach me a different lesson. The water was showing me that we had a different connection. And to rediscover the depths of how we could never be seperated.. Competition? The water is for everyone why compete when you can connect? Being torn from something I thought I loved brought me closer to subtlety of why I was here in the first place. The water is my birth place- and that is something that no one could ever take. From that point on my mom would drop me off at the pool before school and I would listen. I was dead silent. Immersed in the mysteries that were being revealed to me. What was there to say when all that was required for me was to listen. Maintain the form , master the form and you will never lose the flow.
